Bites Tale : I've got a "Money Can't Buy" pendant... there's only 1 in this world.. and yes, it's from him... specially made for me... by him.. i.e. with his own hands... Though you'll think it's rough and not nicely shaped, but it's perfect to me!
Some friends have been wondering what's happening between him and i. And some are worried about how things are going. Luckily after a few days of "cooling-off period", we both made an effort to talk about it last night and decided to continue "walking the journey" together.
So what were we fighting about?
The big "C" word.
If you have ever read about the book : "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", you'll learn the differences between how men and women see things differently.
Like for our case, he sees things 1 by 1, subject by subject while i tends to lump everything together... he is kind off laid back while i am those very nervous type... he is someone who can tackle ad-hoc things while i am those who prefer to plan early and if possible, try to settle foreseeable happenings before it happens so that nothing can affect what i have planned. The worst thing is, i am extra sensitive especially in negative thinking.
So, when it comes to taking our relationship forward... i get worried. He is the one i wanna be with, but sometimes his "laid back style" makes me worried... it's like i can't see what is his planning for his future... and for "ours"...
I thought that may be he has been so used to being a bachelor all these years (umm, yes, i'm his 1st gf), he may find it difficult to talk about his planning or he has no planning at all... in actual fact, he scares that he can't fulfilled what i wished. What if he failed? That's why he rather do things "quietly" and hope to show me the result. But he is not aware that this "silence" makes me worried... just in case he is hesitating that i might not be the right one for him.
He is bad in time management.. not that he purposely wants to be late, but when he wanted to do something... he encounters "distraction".. just like he wishes to meet me for lunch yesterday, and he said to me he won't be late this time, but just before lunch, he received a call from a friend who needed help, the friend was injured... he scared that the devil in me comes out giving me negative thinking and wanted to look for me for lunch still, but i rejected. In a way, i understand that he did not do it in purpose again this time... but i'm also a bit upset.. because it seems like he just can't make it on time for me..
But at least, we've got a "fruitful" discussion last night where both of us speak out our thoughts and feelings, and also discuss on how to tackle such differences and what to foresee in the future. (What a waste on all those tears..., come to think of it, he's right... i should have let him talk in the 1st place instead i was too upset to listen and asked him to leave... my bad!)
Meanwhile, thanks for everyone who is concerned about us.
And... more blogging about food again!!!
Some friends have been wondering what's happening between him and i. And some are worried about how things are going. Luckily after a few days of "cooling-off period", we both made an effort to talk about it last night and decided to continue "walking the journey" together.
So what were we fighting about?
The big "C" word.
If you have ever read about the book : "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", you'll learn the differences between how men and women see things differently.
Like for our case, he sees things 1 by 1, subject by subject while i tends to lump everything together... he is kind off laid back while i am those very nervous type... he is someone who can tackle ad-hoc things while i am those who prefer to plan early and if possible, try to settle foreseeable happenings before it happens so that nothing can affect what i have planned. The worst thing is, i am extra sensitive especially in negative thinking.
So, when it comes to taking our relationship forward... i get worried. He is the one i wanna be with, but sometimes his "laid back style" makes me worried... it's like i can't see what is his planning for his future... and for "ours"...
I thought that may be he has been so used to being a bachelor all these years (umm, yes, i'm his 1st gf), he may find it difficult to talk about his planning or he has no planning at all... in actual fact, he scares that he can't fulfilled what i wished. What if he failed? That's why he rather do things "quietly" and hope to show me the result. But he is not aware that this "silence" makes me worried... just in case he is hesitating that i might not be the right one for him.
He is bad in time management.. not that he purposely wants to be late, but when he wanted to do something... he encounters "distraction".. just like he wishes to meet me for lunch yesterday, and he said to me he won't be late this time, but just before lunch, he received a call from a friend who needed help, the friend was injured... he scared that the devil in me comes out giving me negative thinking and wanted to look for me for lunch still, but i rejected. In a way, i understand that he did not do it in purpose again this time... but i'm also a bit upset.. because it seems like he just can't make it on time for me..
But at least, we've got a "fruitful" discussion last night where both of us speak out our thoughts and feelings, and also discuss on how to tackle such differences and what to foresee in the future. (What a waste on all those tears..., come to think of it, he's right... i should have let him talk in the 1st place instead i was too upset to listen and asked him to leave... my bad!)
Meanwhile, thanks for everyone who is concerned about us.
And... more blogging about food again!!!
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16 comments:
so happy that things are ok now.. :-) wishing you two many happy years together ya.. and yes, more food posts please.. hehe
I have to say there are always differences between men and ladies. Try to be cool and patient then everything will work out fine. BTW, I think we are neighbours. You under the wind, me is land of one kind of bird, hehe.
I've been with my bf for more than 6 years and it hasn't always been smooth sailing. Hang in there. If you guys can go through all the hardships and still love each other, then you'll know you guys are meant to be.. Sometimes we all shouldn't take things too seriously..
I'm glad you made up with him.. :D Okay, time for food now! Haha..
Aww.. that's nice to hear you both have patched things up. :-)
All the best wish for the both of you.
oo i totally get it !! i'm in no better situation than you. it seemed like the "first girlfriend" always have to get through this stage. being more than 1 year in this, i can assure you that it ain't easy. but one thing is for sure, its GReat to talk about it !! at least he knows what you're going through. hehe. n he can then try his best to suit you, or vice versa. wishing you the very Very BEst !! ;)
if issues r not resolved during courtship, they will continue even after marriage! i'd advise to go into a relationship with your ears, eyes, mind, and mouth fully open but if u get married, u better be half-blind, half deaf, mostly mute, have no mind...but how many of us can do tt??
sting, i'm really glad all things are ok now.. thank you for your wish.. hehehe food blog coming up!
jam, so u from sarawak ah? ever come to KK kah? ya.. sometimes it's hard to accept those differences, but i am learning.. and will stay on strong.
Ratu Syura, you are right.. sometimes i tend to take things too seriously.. wanted to be cool but still can't.. learning now.. and hope he can "tahan" me.. akekekeke.. yup! food time.. i go feed myself and then post!
jane, thank you. i missed him so much after a few days of "silence".. now "lum lum" only.
levian, yup it ain't easy.. and blame me for refuse to listen.. make him so mad sometimes.. thank you for ur wish!
To all, i'm so glad to have you as my online buddies! you guys & gals are great!
terri, i totally agree with u! but hor on the married part, a bit scary pula.. i really doubt i can do that...
err..i din get it hehhe...what is that big 'C' words? but then, i've no comment bout relationship tho' im not good at it :P
Why I always a bit late, haha... Glad to hear that both of you are ok now. Listen and see things with your heart, you'll discover the wonderland. hehe... Best wishes! Welcome back! Bright and lovely meatball!
hm..glad to hear tat u r doing fine now..
in a relationship u need toleration, try to be understanding bit
sometimes we need to open ears to listen, open eye to see, open heart to feel, nothing is absolutely wrong or right, at least we give a chance, everyone deserve a second chance.
we are unique no one will b the same, so sometimes hav to think out of the box, try to see from different angle and from his point of view. things might not turn up as worst as u thought.
Trust is a vital. :)
Before I married,I got the same problem like your too.Don't take things seriously.Everything will be OK.Learn to be patient ok!.:)
hey happiness is always around u!! it depends how u look at it!! cheers i am glad u are ok!! my wishes will always be with u!! take care meat ball
zaini, "C" means Commitment! :P
cedric, u not always late la! managing a relationship needs a lot of wisdom..thanks for ur advice that day!
jo, yup, u r right! trust is vital. will start to stand in his view before i turned into a devil.. :P
sweetiepie, ok.. ya.. i have a problem with patience.. i'm those nervous "kan cheong" type!
aron, thank you, u take care too ya!
I read the book many times usually when I feel frustrated with my hubby. haha ... then I get reminded why he behaviour the certain way and I feel better. LOL
Ask your bf to read it too so he understand how you feel too. My hubby read it too and it easier to explain certain situation to him. ;)
But really glad you guys worked it out. Hope your bug bite, gastric and cut are cured. ;)
LOL... ya.. i should get the book from him! Actually, he is the one who lend me the book! kakakaka!
Ya, wokkingmum,, i'm glad too! but hor, my bug bites still itchy.. gastric and cuts are cured!
:)
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